As I sit here reflecting the past year and dreaming about the new year ahead of me, I know that I am not alone in this. Most of us do this today. We think about what went wrong, what felt right, what we accomplished and what we didn’t. This has been going on since before my lifetime and probably yours.
This year I am not writing out resolutions. I am not even creating goals. Because quite frankly I am really, really frustrated right now. Frustrated with life. Frustrated with my purpose. Why? Because I have been living this same story over and over and over. Resolutions serve no purpose in my life. It’s something you say that you want to change for the better and within a few weeks that resolution has been forgotten. We all do it. I have yet to hear about anyone that has actually completed their resolution… me included. And if you are that person that has completed a resolution then please comment below and share your victory! I would love to hear about it! Now I am not telling you this to be a downer. If you love making resolutions then by all means do them! Write them out, stick them where you can see them and aim to complete them. And you might wonder why I am not writing down goals, either. Hello, I am the Queen of Goals! But these so called goals that I have written over and over are not getting crossed off either. And this is where my frustration comes in. 2015 has been challenging. I moved over 2000 miles away from my home. My safe place. My family. I had really good intentions, though. I was really, really excited. To see new sights, new places, meet new people… I really do love travelling. I love a good adventure. But then reality slapped me in the face. And the adventure was gone. The fire was out. I started missing home. I missed my family. I missed everything that I once knew. I have no real life connections where I am at. I rarely even leave the house. I have tried over and over and over to create a successful online business and I keep building it the wrong way. What is wrong with me? Is a constant question in my head. Why can’t I just be happy? Is another thought that follows. I just don’t know any more. Now I want you to know that this is not a post where I am looking for pity. Believe me, my pity parties are not somewhere you want to be. And I certainly wish I was not the host. But I guess this is life currently. So you might be thinking – Make resolutions! Make some goals! And while that might seem like a good idea given the current situation, there is more to life than a resolution or a goal. And you know what that is? A feeling. Feelings are amazingly powerful. If you feel a certain way, your whole world shifts. So today I am searching for feelings and then making intentions to start moving in that direction. The amazing part about feelings is that you can rapidly start shifting towards that feeling. It does take a lot of discipline and mindfulness, though. And since I am no expert on this, I really don’t have a lot of advice to give other than meditation has helped me and so has Danielle LePorte’s book The Desire Map. This book is the golden ticket. I am still journaling, creating and visualizing my feelings that I want to work towards. Of course Happiness is number one. Happiness, contentment and peace. Something that is very much needed in my life right now and three feelings I am working towards. And did you see that cabin the in woods at the beginning of this post? This is what I am visualizing – my happy place. A place of comfort. Peace. And clarity. So if you are reading this and you can relate in some way, just know that you are not alone. You may feel alone… I also feel alone… but we really do have each other. And know that your problems are not as big as someone else’s problems. And if we can all just find some comfort and peace each day then each day may just be better than the next. You are loved. You are worthy. Tasha
1 Comment
In 2013 I moved 4000 miles away from all my family and friends in New Hampshire back to Washington. I gave up everything to start over again, in the place I had dreamed of living for all of the 14 years I spent on the East coast. 2013 & 2014 were a struggle for me to find myself again, to start over, and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I set goals for 2015, not something I normally do.
Reply
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |